Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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