this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize