i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize