I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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