Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
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All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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