Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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