I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
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Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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