I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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