walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
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The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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