never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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