Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize