i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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