I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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