I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize