Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
this beer tastes like vomit already
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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