did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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