i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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