It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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