It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize