Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize