Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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