Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize