You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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