either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
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my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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