dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize