I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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