like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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