Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
third nipple confirmed
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
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