Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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