i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
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Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize