chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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