dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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