Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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