Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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