I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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