may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You took a bar mat shot.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
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Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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