I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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