her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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