I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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