Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
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I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
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Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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