hell yes lets make some ravioli
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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