Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
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AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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