I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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