please come you make the beer taste better
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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