chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize