had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize