So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am available for nakedness
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