life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize