he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
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He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize