capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize